Why we go....

I was recently asked why we do it? 

Why we take the risk of the hikes, the crazy trips, the explorations, the bike rides and all the random adventures we go on? We being anyone who leaves the safety of home for the unknown. 

It’s a strange mentality that I don’t know if I can quite explain, but I will try. We go because we can or because we want to know if we can. The trip you actually have and the trip you share with the world on social media are very very different. You don’t talk about the parts of your trip that really made you grow. The nights you were up crying because you weren't sure if you could do it. You don't always talk about the times you got terribly lost or the fear of the unknown, but those are the parts of the trip that actually matter. Those are the parts that challenge everything in who you are and make you stronger. The tough parts make the beautiful sights of the trip that much sweeter. 

The travels give you a chance to feel more connected to the human species. You will find yourself in the middle of nowhere and yet there are still people all around you to connect with.  People with their own story and background and life that they are struggling through and you share your experiences and bond. You find that everyone has their own unique story that they are crafting as they go. A story that you may very well hold a tiny spot in. 

It’s when you’re sitting alone in a tent, at a KOA in South Dakota, watching a movie on your slowly dying computer, slamming beers to ease the pain of a fractured rib…it’s in those moments that you learn who you really are. Learn how strong or weak you are. Wonder why you take so much crap from people every day. Wonder why you aren't living a different life and promise yourself that you will change it all when you get back. You don’t, but for a moment you feel like you can change the world.

You go because you know you are going back to the job that you may love, but is still always going to be a job and you’re going to take the same old crap from the same old people. It’s because in those moments on the top of a mountain or sleeping in the back of your car that you are free from everything else in the world. Free from jobs, responsibility, and judgment. Free from everything. You are just you, writing your own story wondering what the next moment is going to bring. What sights lie around the next bend? Wondering who you will meet tomorrow and what kinds of things are going to happen that may change your life forever. We go because it gives us hope that there is more out there than what we see in our daily lives. We go to remind ourselves of who we really are when you strip all the BS away. We go because we can. 

Open letter to my Mom

An open letter to my mom. 

Crohns runs in her family and I know it tears her up that I have had to deal with the blessing and curse of having it. For some back story, I had just purchased a house and within a week of purchasing, my fiance got a call to go work for his dream job. That dream job happens to be in a different state than the one we had just purchased our partially remodeled home in. Don't worry I will be posting some entertaining bits about that too, but for now I share this. 

I am thankful…..

With all the craziness and stress of the house, the move and the job, I created a thankful board. It’s a white board and at the end of each day I write a few things I am thankful for on sticky notes and put them on the board. It helps me remember all the great things in life in the midst of the insanity. On my first bike ride in weeks, I was about 13 miles in when I realized something, I am thankful that I have crohns. 

Please do not ever blame yourself or feel bad that I have been blessed with having crohns; and no that is not a sarcastic statement. Now let me explain.

I am an amazing athlete. I might not be in the Olympics or winning crazy medals, but I am an amazing athlete because I have to be. Working out keeps my stress levels low and purges the body of toxins. The crohns forces me to keep active or my stress levels get too high and I get sick. It keeps me in check and keeps me moving forward. It keeps me motivated without hindering my performance. There are very very few diseases out there that allow that to happen.

I don’t have to deal with peer pressure to eat junk food or drink. We all always want to eat the cake, donuts, treats, beer, what have you and I simply cannot. I don’t have to deal with the “oh she is one of those girls who won’t have treats because she doesn't want to get fat”. I have a solid excuse and no one gives me any crap about it. My body gave me a get out of jail free card to eat the way everyone should eat. I eat clean. I stay healthy. Just because other people can digest fast food doesn't mean they should. Chicken nuggets are delicious and can be hard to resist. My body has a built in resistance. Thankfully I do have cheats that I can still enjoy. Gluten free pizza and cookies are available, but not quite as accessible as everything else so then they get to truly be a treat.

Crohns has made me so much more compassionate to those who are suffering and fighting their own battles. Every single person in this world is fighting some battle, cancer, depression, obesity, the list goes on. The crohns has given me a small window into some of these battles without destroying my spirit.

Crohns can be an awful and debilitating disease, but only if I let it be. It has taught me the delicate balance of life that must exist to be healthy. The balance of stress, sleep, food, exercise and relaxation is really important and my body has an internal measure to let me know when one of those is out of whack. Who wouldn't want something like that?

You gave me the genes to be an athlete. You taught me the self-control to only take what I need. You taught me to treat others the way I wanted to be treated and to be compassionate. You taught me to rise above every obstacle life throws at me and find the best in it. Don’t ever feel sad or guilty that I have crohns, feel thankful for all the amazing things you have taught me. Feel thankful that I have a disease that pushes me to be a better person without holding me back in anyway. Thank God for giving me crohns so that I could learn all that I have from having it and then learn to rise above it.

Yesterday was the first time I was honestly thankful for having the experience of having crohns and I needed you to know too.